Editor’s note: This story talks about suicide and self-harm. If you are in crisis, please call, text or chat with the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988, or contact the Crisis Text Line by texting TALK to 741741.
Freshly 23 years old, a Stockton naval serviceman found himself at the end of a never-ending loop of sadness. In a Stocktonia interview, he recalled his spiral of events at the beginning of the year. He shared months of happy memories and exciting journeys with his former partner, but his relationship resulted in a heartbreak that left him struggling. Memories from his time in Seattle became unbearable, and songs they used to listen to became a painful melody that left a flood of emotions he couldn’t escape.
“It was the simple little things that we had together,” he explained. “Artists we listened to, common phrases and more. It was even hard for me to look at the space needle,” he said.
While the demands of his Navy position had once given him purpose, he began viewing his career as another layer of stress. Fearing that his mental health was affecting not only his personal life but also his career, he found comfort from the military’s medical facility where his Triad Resources assisted him. It became a lifeline that would ultimately save him.
“If it wasn’t for them I wouldn’t be alive by now. I sure was blessed to see them as family because originally I thought they were just coworkers to me,” he said.
He’s not alone. In the United States alone someone dies of suicide every 11 minutes. As a nation we recognize September as Suicide Prevention Month.
“The thing about suicide is it’s very impulsive,” says Faye Vera, clinical assistant director at Behavioral Health Services (BHS) in Stockton. “Those feelings may feel like forever in that temporary moment, and if they have access to lethal means, that’s where things get dangerous.”
According to the 2023 Centers for Disease Control and Prevention report, heartbreak is an often overlooked trigger and accounts for one in five suicides. In 2022 it was reported that suicide was the second leading cause of death for 10-14 year olds, 25 to 34 year olds, and veterans aged over 50.
Through therapy, the Naval serviceman learned how to reclaim his mental and emotional well-being. The tools of mindfulness helped him reshape how he remembered his past — not as a series of painful, black-and-white memories, but as something he could view with a new perspective.
“It started off really morbid. I was in a really dark place. As time went by I learned to accept everything that happened and build happier memories with new people.”
Today, he shares his story without an identity but with a purpose: In fear of losing his current career he chose to speak out in order to help those who may struggle in the same darkness he once faced.
Suicides and suicidal thoughts are not limited to just our service people; it can also affect our family, friends, and even your local beautician.
Stockton esthetician Jailyne Romero, 22, found herself staring at what looked like the end for her.
“I don’t remember when I spoke on my recovery stage, but telling it whenever I have the opportunity to encourage someone is very bittersweet,” Romero said in the interview.
Recalling the most important years of her life, Jailyne shared how at 12 years old she experienced bullying and non-acceptance by her best friends. According to the Newport Academy a children’s social and emotional development is extremely important during the adolescent stage because it helps them create a sense of belonging.
Experiencing such betrayal at a young age silenced Jailyne in fear of being laughed at by the people she loved.
“It made it hard to open up to people because I couldn’t believe that anyone would genuinely care if I were to mention that I was truly struggling,” Romero said.
When she spoke up at 14 years old, she was silenced again, but this time by her own parents.
“The first people I opened up to were my parents,” Romero said. “It broke my heart because instead of being loving and understanding they laughed in my face. Due to my constant sobbing they got angry and called me dramatic and said nothing was wrong. Because of their reaction they became the main cause of my pain and lack of true love,” she said.
As a new generation Latina, Jailyne realized at an older age that her parents’ reaction was very much expected.
“My family was never the type to be open with your emotions; just shut up and stop crying about everything so much,” Romero said. “For a lot of older Hispanic people they grew up thinking depression isn’t real, it’s just all in your head,” she said.
In comparison to African American and non-Hispanic adolescent women, Latinas have the highest rate for suicidal intentions due to cultural and familial factors being the leading causes the National Institute of Health says.
In order to recover, Jailyne had to find solace in herself. Working as a security guard during the day at the San Joaquin General Hospital, Romero watches as a variety of patients come in and out of her unit for self harm.
She saw a different perspective one day when she noticed a patient who reminded her of herself.
“It automatically made me so sad that at this age, the poor baby feels this way about life,” Romero said.
Due to HIPAA violations Romero is not allowed to ask the patients about their lives, but one day the grandfather of the patient that healed her came to share his granddaughter’s experience with her.
“She was living the life that I had lived,” Romero said. “ She reminded me of my little sister and I wanted to help her in any way that I could. I didn’t tell her in depth about what I experienced, but I told her how I felt many of the same emotions that she was feeling in that moment and that life would get better,” she said.
This conversation showed Romero not only how she saved a little girl’s life, but how she saw herself; someone who needed to be understood.
In San Joaquin County, 83 suicides were reported in 2023. Vera shared that its crisis hotline received 1,292 calls a month in the past 2023-24 fiscal year, totaling over 15,000 calls in the past year. Many of these callers cited failed romantic relationships as a reason for their suicidal attempts.
BHS raises awareness about suicide prevention through community outreach programs. These events reach 50 percent of their 20,000 clients in San Joaquin County. Programs like Coping and Resiliency Education Services (CARES) help educate parents on preventing depression or suicidal thoughts in their children, while Lethal Means Training teaches gun safety and distributes gun locks. Mental Health First Aid trains individuals to recognize early signs of suicide in others and equips them with the tools to communicate effectively with those in crisis. Additionally, Applied Suicide Intervention Skills Training (ASIST) provides evidence-based training for intervening during moments of crisis.
BHS also offers mental health services to anyone in the community, regardless of their insurance status, with focus on providing timely care. According to Vera, clients are matched with services within 10 days 99 percent of the time, or with psychiatrists within 15 days, 98 percent of the time.
“We offer a wide variety of services,” Vera said. “We are mandated and happy to provide services for those with Medi-Cal, uninsured, or with private insurance,” she said.
For those unable to access in-person services, BHS also provides a 24/7 emotional support hotline called Warmline, where individuals are connected to someone who has personally overcome mental health struggles.
The serviceman and Jailyne’s stories are just two of the many tales of resilience. Their stories serve as a reminder that in moments of despair, help is available and healing is possible.
“You are not alone. There are plenty of people out there going through it. The world isn’t as bad as you think,” the serviceman said. “In order to change how suicide and mental health is perceived by the public you have to make them aware,” Romero said. “Storytelling is the main character. Sharing my story not only changes how I view myself and my journey, but it shows everyone that we are all human no matter our job, status, or life struggles. We all need assistance at some point, so no one should be afraid to reach out for help.”